“Ladies, if some guy ever tells you that God told him something that you have to do, tell him to get on a ship!”

- Prof. Pat Ralston, CHOW I, on Virgil’s Aeneid

“Maybe women don’t possess anything in this culture. It’s the PCA.”

- Prof. Jim Wildeman, Introduction to Linguistics, referring to one language’s lack of a feminine possessive pronoun

“He [Milton] even writes about the sex lives of angels. And if that’s not a motivation to read Paradise Lost, I
don’t know what is…”

- Prof. Bill Tate, CHOW II

“They’re little vipers in covenantal diapers.”

- Prof. Bill Davis, CHOW II, on babies and human evil

“If I had my way, I’d have a one-eyed, handicapped, lesbian black person speak in Chapel. That’s why they retired me early.”

- Prof. Ray Clark, Doctrine II