7 billion
An accurate approximation
Of just how many people
Occupy this planet
7 billion
Probably a gross underestimation
Of how many stars exist
In however many galaxies there are
7 billion
A not-so-slight overexaggeration
Of how many thoughts
Both good, bad, and in between
Are pinging around in my brain
At any given time
Like balls in a pinball machine
Unbidden and unsupervised
Many a sleepless night has been born
From countless anxieties and creativities
Bursting from parts of myself
I didn’t even know existed
My soul is constantly, consistently torn
Between anxieties about the past and future
And ideas, so many ideas
Art and music and plans and ideas and thoughts
Too many, too much, too stifling
I bolt up from a crazy hazy dream
Reaching for my phone, a pen, my computer
Anything to get them out
Make them quiet
Make them stop
I can’t distinguish my thoughts anymore
But I can’t stop thinking
There’s too many too much too loud
I can’t breathe
My lungs are tight
Crushed by the number and weight of my thoughts
My hand is cramping
My head is about to explode
Or maybe implode
Collapsing under the pressure of my words and ideas
Ican’tImustIhaveto
Gorundoartmusicplan
WhydidIwhenwillIhowwillIwho
Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy
DAUGHTER
Echoes bounce and resound
In the empty cavern
Of my skull
“Just freeze
And breathe”