You are busy. I am busy. College students are busy. Teenagers are busy. Children are busy. Adults are busy. We are all busy.
In a culture where productivity is highly regarded and a full schedule is a mark of importance, busyness becomes an indicator of success.
More than this, we have a natural and God-given desire to be a part of a community. We want to participate in events because that is a critical part of membership in a community. No one wants to be on the outside of a group or to miss out on the most recent happenings. This is so common that it has been given its own name: Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO).
(Note: I will only be addressing FOMO that derives from a multitude of events and being unable to attend them all. FOMO that derives from being purposefully excluded is an entirely different issue, though nonetheless difficult.)
FOMO is a real and pressing issue for many people. It is easy to be made anxious by the numerous events that we can’t attend, and having to choose between obligations adds to the difficulty. Unfortunately, due to our finitude, we are not able to participate in every event, every small group, every outing, or every intramural team.
But this does not mean that those events should not happen, that small groups should stop meeting, or that social calendars should be neglected. Missing out on events is not a reason that the event should be canceled. In fact, not being a part of an event is not bad. It forces us to weigh the limitations that we have as embodied, time-bound creatures.
We are temporal creatures. Every person has a finite amount of time; the use of that time portrays a great deal about our priorities. What we spend our time on is what we find to be valuable, whether we admit it or not. In light of this, we should think critically about how we employ the 24 hours that are allotted to us each day.
FOMO happens when we begin to wrestle with that allotment—when we can’t accept that 24 hours in a day is enough for all that we want to do or participate in. While it is not an easy task, recognizing that FOMO is a symptom of discontentedness helps to identify the core issue: a distrust in the Lord. Trusting the Lord to care for us, to meet our every need and satisfy the desires of our hearts, is not easy. This trust is developed through sanctification, and sanctification is rarely pleasant.
Encountering FOMO allows us an opportunity to begin to engage in sanctification. We can notice the pain of missing out and mourn that we can’t do everything or participate in every event. In light of that, we can recall that we are finite creatures, created and sustained by a loving God who will answer our every need. We can reorient ourselves towards Christ and look for (even if we can’t see) sustenance through him.
FOMO is unpleasant and sometimes miserable but it is also a chance to be sanctified and to be matured. When we graduate, we are not suddenly going to have enough time to do all the things we would like or go to every concert, ballgame, party, or small group. We will always have to make decisions about which things to do and which to not. We will always have to miss out, but that does not mean that we need to encounter the same fear each time. Missing out need not lead to FOMO. Instead, as we mature, we will necessarily become more comfortable with saying no to events and obligations.
One day, one way or another, we will each have to encounter our own finitude in a rough and uncomfortable way. It may be through illness, injury, grief, or age. It may be tomorrow or in a decade. But we can be more or less prepared for some of those trials. Encountering FOMO, learning how to combat it and to be sanctified through it enables us to more healthfully endure those difficult times.
So, Covenant College, you will encounter FOMO. It will happen but that doesn’t mean that Senate needs to cancel Jazz or that all the clubs should disband. It just means that we are having to learn to make decisions about prioritizing our time, and that is hard. It is painful and uncomfortable to say no to things that are good, but it is critical to embracing our finitude, our creatureliness, and most of all, our dependence on our risen Lord, Jesus Christ.