“We’re all multicultural,” Nesha Evans, the Associate Dean of Students, responded to me as I began to talk about an article I was writing for the Bagpipe. I paused—she’s right, you know. People are composed of a complexity of cultures that make them them. It’s easy to lose sight of that with the term “diversity” thrown about so frequently these days. I hope to shed some light on what it means to be a White non-American in the U.S.
I was born and grew up in Dublin, Ireland, to two second-generation American parents. I lived in Germany for four years while I attended an international boarding school. During that time, my parents moved to Vienna, Austria, and I have spent months at a time there. I carry two passports, have been to over 22 countries, and can speak two to three languages conversationally (depending on the day). But meeting me, you could go a whole conversation without knowing any of that.
I don’t look non-American, I don’t sound non-American, and I have known people for months before they have found out I’m not from the U.S. I am apparently what they call a “hidden immigrant.” While on the outside I look like the majority culture, internally, I feel completely out of place and I’m well aware of my “otherness.”
The senior testimony that John Bae ’21 gave rang clear and true to me on so many levels. One aspect of his experience that I found myself envious of was that he was never mistaken as being only an “American” because of the way he looked. In an interview Bae said to me, “There was a sense of safety and stability in my identity when I connected the dots—I will always be an alien. I will always be different, but I will always be a child of God.”
I struggle with being labelled American because I don’t feel at home in the culture or unified by the shared experiences that other people seem to have. Beni Kiss ’22, a Hungarian international student and future multicultural program leader, spoke about how he had no idea what it meant that Covenant College was predominantly White or PCA.
I resonate with that. Before Covenant, I did not even know what “PCA” or “Reformed” meant. There are so many cultural norms that I am expected to know because I am White and sound American. I appreciate all that Covenant College does to talk about the perks and flaws of the PCA and racial issues. Without it, I’m not sure I would be as introspective and aware about the dangers of implicit bias; however, becoming more aware of racial divides and differences also frustrated me a lot.
It frustrated me because coming to Covenant I largely did not divide people in the socially constructed category of race. I simply saw Americans and non-Americans. That was the more significant divide for me, so talking about race all the time seemed to keep bringing that difference to my mind, and made me far more aware of it.
When I have to fill out a survey or standardized test I hate filling out my ethnicity because I have to fill in the “White” bubble just like every white American. And that simply does not tell the whole story.
I want to emphasize that being a White American does not mean that you are boring. When I came to Covenant my freshman year, I was asked the classic get-to-know-you question, “Where are you from?” When I responded, “Dublin, Ireland,” or “Europe,” one of the most frequent responses was, “Wow! Well I’m just from…[insert any state here except maybe Hawaii or Alaska].” There was a sense that when I said where I was from I would automatically think that it was boring or less than to find out where they were from. But being American isn’t boring. It isn’t superior to or better than other cultures either!
As I interviewed various international students at Covenant, one of the biggest assets they highlighted about being a multicultural student is that you can see the beauty and flaws of cultures. While at times it can be very frustrating and sad not to be tied down and grounded to a particular place, living in multiple places helps challenge you to synthesize the best of those places into the kind of culture you want to perpetuate.
Bae talked about the lack of patriotism that Third Culture Kids (TCKs) feel, and I honestly believe that the feeling of not belonging is an asset. I think it is good to wish people and nations well, but nowhere in the Bible does it talk about patriotism as a holy thing to be sought after. Patriotism, if anything, should be directed at the Kingdom and the perfect hope and joy of an eternal, incorruptible nation.
If I could leave you with anything, it would be to resist the urge to simplify people into the neat boxes which help you summarize who they are. Reach out to those around you. Take advantage of the international presence, as small as it is, at Covenant. Learn more deeply about the world from those who have seen different parts of it than you.