Dancing with the Stars

Let me begin by saying this — what I’m about to share with you is the future of modern music experience. Imagine a world without expensive tickets, near death mosh pit encounters, nosebleed seats, or volume that is too loud (or too quiet). Imagine a world where you can dance with the stars. 

Imagine no longer. This summer, all was meaningless in relation to my experiencing this very phenomenon: The Ariana Grande Fortnite Concert. 

For those of you who do not have Fortnite experience, let me clarify its essence: 

Fortnite is basically the Hunger Games. The more you play, the higher “tiers” you achieve, and with a battle pass, tiers grant different gifts like outfits, “emotes” (dances), and the all important v-bucks (the greatest and most successful cryptocurrency form according to economics expert Jonathan Bozarth). You start in the “lobby” where friends can join your squad to play against other teams in different game modes of increasing team size. 

Now back to the concert experience. Every once in a while, Fortnite spends some of their vast fortune to team up with platinum level artists and create a concert. This summer, Fortnite announced their team up with Ariana Grande, and the hype began to build.

Concert day: As a tier 140 player, I had the unique blessing of creating a curated ensemble—a custom designed alien named Steven (pictured above). With Steven representing my mortal consciousness, I entered the concert lobby with my squad (my brother, Sam, and my young cousin). 

*Caveat: I am not an Ariana Grande fan. I know maybe two Ariana Grande songs. However, the wonderful experience that even a non fan can enjoy only serves to confirm the power of this concert. Rather than queuing in an unpleasant, intemperate, and noisy venue parking lot/atrium or listening to a second rate opener, my squad and I happily passed the time running around the top of an alien abductor craft.

Suddenly, the peace shattered as Ariana’s whistle note pipes began to call us into a large rift that appeared in the center of the circular alien ship. 

Quite frankly, this was a lot to handle. We were pulled into the rift by Ariana herself and flew down a high speed slide which was strongly reminiscent of Nintendo’s Rainbow Road course. Important to note is the fact that you were able to control your character’s actions for the whole concert, lending it a totally personable quality. 

After the slide, our characters leapt through a forest of pink tufts, a teddy bear rising on the horizon. Weird. An Ariana Grande song was playing. 

Then darkness fell. My squad and I reappeared on a biplane, weapons in hand. We were suddenly and shockingly fighting for our lives against a giant monster thing, feeling subtly betrayed by Ariana for leading us into the situation. Luckily, we did not perish, though our plane did erupt into flames and descend into darkness. 

Then, soft music, gentle pinpoints of light. Steven stood in a forest of “knocked” players (a condition which follows the loss of all health and shields), and the option to “revive” beckoned on screen. Confused, I tapped the square button, and Steven reached out, pulling the player to his feet. All around the darkened plane, thousands of others were helped up, lights of kindness reaching to the sky as stars—-a powerful juxtaposition to Fortnite's “kill or be killed” philosophy. 

Then a star descended. “ARIAANA!! Sing to meeeee!!” shouted Sam from his monitor across the room. “Seven Rings”

began to play as a golden orb struck Steven, electrifying him with music fervor. The star was Ariana. She stood with me, we danced and sang together as friends. 

From this point, I don’t remember much. It was transcendent, full of music and clouds. At one point, we followed a giant Ariana up a Hogwarts-esque flight of shifting stairs, watching as she carried a massive crystal hammer, ready to break down the barriers of unkindness. I left the concert with a strong sense of joy, shock, and surprise. Even today, I consider these events with a desire to comprehend the metaphors and the symbols which this concert offered.

My past concert experiences have not been like this. I once went to Winter Jam. I left after opener Tedashii’s bass rattled my brain out of my skull. Mountain affair was fun. But there was the threatening spector of UV ray exposure. Ekklesia’s sound system seemed like a good idea, until Belz tower played an impromptu concert late at night and woke me up. 

 Fortnite will never harm you this way. The vibes are always good. The volume is always optional. In the words of my esteemed brother Sam, “It was ethereal and effervescent.” Perhaps one day all concerts will be like this. I certainly hope so.