LE PETITE WINDBAG: An Unexpected Greeting from Ya Boi

An exceptionally mediocre student at Covenant was shocked the other day when President Jaydrick Halving-Song nodded, smiled and said “Hello.”  

It was a frosty day (that cleared up and got hot randomly at 4 and then went back to freezing as heck that night) when Chudd Litsky, a Sophomore at Covenant, was greeted by Pres. Jaydrick. Litsky, a member of 5th North, doesn’t do much except play spikeball on the lawn and yell before chapel starts every once in awhile.

Litsky said, “Yeah, I’m not a Mac Scholar.  And I also don’t play soccer.  So you can imagine my surprise when Docktour Halven-Esso-son not only looked my way, but spoke a gentle greeting to me.”

Sources, however, are not yet sure whether Halv-first-born-son actually spoke a word or not.  Said a nearby student, who is both a Mac Scholar and soccer player: “Dr. Half-or-some always says hello to me every day.  Sometimes he calls me just to say hello.  Sometimes, he will come to my room to tell me hello.  And if I am not there, he leaves me a build-a-bear, which says ‘hello’ in his voice when you squeeze its hand.  I’ve got like 40 of them...  I was there when all that went down.  He for sure didn’t say a word to Chudd.  It was more of a grunt.”

In any case, Litsky was shocked to even make eye contact and get a smile out of the President, known for his soft chuckle and jovial attitude.

When asked about the situation, Dexter Jaded Eric Have-a-son said, “Who? No I don’t remeber that…  Sounds like fake news.  I hate when this garbage happens to get out of my office.”

Covenant’s resident expert on smoking and former Mac Scholar, Dr. Michelle Taffy (who is studying smoking and administration at Oxefrode Universisitas in southern New England) said, “HAH! There’s no way that happened.  He must’ve seen Litsky talking to a Mac Scholar.  But lemme just say, smoking is totally cool here at Oxland.  Covenant’s rules are inconsistent we should only be allowed to smoke and not do homework. That’s one of my essay topics here.  I have a beard.”

Clearly there’s a lot to this story.  It is important for you to understand that no story is simple.  A journalist has to be aware of a lot of things.  Take me for example.  I was aware of the people involved in the story and people outside the story who could help spice up the story.  That’s what journalism means to me.  It should mean that to you too.