Alien: Covenant


It’s late. You and your friends are lying in bed, watching the latest Netflix show and fighting off sleep.

“I’m bored,” says one of your cool friends. “I wish anything fun would happen on this quotidian campus.”

You’re surprised. Quotidian? What a word! You didn’t know your friends knew words like that. Is your cool friend a secret nerd? While you’re contemplating your cool friend’s IQ, something happens. The lights flicker. Your phone charger cuts in and out. People scream and run down the hall because they have never seen darkness. But the darkness doesn’t last. A burst of light! A burst light? That seems unnatural. You’re puzzled. Then you hear someone shout, “Aliens!” Oh heck.

Bright, unnatural light is a sure fire sign of aliens coming to abduct you, but that’s probably not what happened on the night of January 8th on Covenant College’s small campus. Reports tell us that 2 transformers blew that fateful Tuesday night. “What’s a transformer?” you might ask. Our trusty friend Google tells us that a transformer is “an apparatus for reducing or increasing the voltage of an alternating current.” Seems important. Electricity is super important, hence everyone running through the sleepy halls, scared for their lives. But, some people had a different reaction. Some were brave.

Well-known Catacombian and local Mya Bosgraf’s boyfriend, James Fuller (’20), told us that he was driving on Scenic Highway below the chapel when he saw the blue flash of the explosion.

“I was passing Andreas on Scenic when I saw it happen again—I saw an electric arc coming out of the the transformer and heard a loud boom,” said Fuller.

Fuller was so excited he tried to get a picture of the explosion, but since everyone knows aliens cannot be photographed, it is no surprise that no evidence was captured. We talked to a few more civilians to hear their opinion on this surprising matter.

Gabrielle Amorelli (’20) had a different take on the event, saying, “I was scared and confused, but aren’t we all?” Good point, Gabrielle, good point. Are you scared and confused, too? You’re not alone.

If you’re wondering, “What happened? Why did these transformers blow? What else can spontaneously combust without my prior knowledge?” Well, transformers can explode due to a sudden surge of too much electricity. Sources say that old transformers can blow as well, due to faulty or old insulation. Aliens, if you’re into that sort of thing, are a definite possibility as well, so don’t lose hope if you’re expecting a visit from our mysterious space friends. As for other things spontaneously combusting, watch out for hoverboards, pyrite oxidation, and absolutely fire beats coming from our talented SoundCloud rappers, located throughout campus. If you’re thinking of becoming a SoundCloud rapper, please reconsider. Focus on your education.

If you are reading this article searching for answers as to how you can stop transformers from exploding, you’ve come to the right paragraph. Truth is, there is most likely nothing you can do to stop the alien-like light from flooding through your dorm room window at night. If you are a pre-engineering major, please let us know the best way to prevent this from happening. No more electricity? Go up there and replace the insulation ourselves? Doubt it. But you know better than I do, pre-engineering majors. And now I leave you with this warning: Please do not go near a transformer without the supervision of a pre-engineering major. It is not safe, seeing as how they explode. Explosions can and will hurt you.