Bus It To The Dance

photo by Amos Corbett

photo by Amos Corbett

As our good friend Bill Shakespeare once said, “Sweet lovers love the spring.”

Here at Covenant College, there is no better time to see sweet lovers in the spring than at Spring Formal itself. That’s right folks, we’re talking about THE Spring Formal, which took place Saturday, March 22nd at the Hunter Museum of American Art. Spring Formal is Covenant’s spring dance, where students dress up in formal attire in the spring time to attend the formal dance that happens annually during the spring while wearing formal clothes. Naturally, it’s a big deal.

At Spring Formal, options are limitless. First of all, students have free reign to walk the halls of the Hunter itself and take in the sights of the various works of art displayed. While this is an option, most Spring Formal goers take this time to photograph themselves or other couples by many of the picturesque works of art, including the infamous “Phenomena Royal Violet Visitation,” a 1977 acrylic painting by artist Paul Jenkins. You may know this work as the one painting everyone takes pictures by that looks a like a collection of colorful feathers. It’s very popular among the picture-taking crowd.

Second among the options of activities at Spring Formal is the option of dance! Students can choose between gracefully swing dancing the night away to classical melodies, including a few songs sung by Covenant alumna Sammie Brown (‘18), and moshing to some lit tunes on the upper dance floor outside.

Local style icon and Third North queen Eden Anyabwile (‘21) dusted off her turntables and was dubbed this year’s disc jockey, or “DJ.” Anyabwile played some classy favorites, including “SICKO MODE” by Travis Scott feat. Drake, earning her some serious respect among the DJ-ing community.

When asked to comment, Anyabwile said, “It was an honor and a privilege to serve our great nation in this way and to serve our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ with my new found little c calling.”

Want to hear more of the on-the-rise DJ? “If you would like to follow me on Spotify,” said Anyabwile, “you can, but all my playlists are private.” Tragedy at its finest.

As with any event, there are always the downsides, the hardships, the struggles. Spring Formal is no exception. Many dancers decide to ditch their shoes when they hit the dance floor, but at what cost? Turns out that cost is smushed toes.

It is not uncommon to see students jumping up and down with great might on the dance floor, even to the point of pushing each other and falling into innocent bystanders. Is this dancing? The jury’s still out, but nonetheless, the jumping and bumping continue, and it is intense. So intense that toes get smushed.

One of the toe-smushing culprits was Catacombian AJ Rollman (‘22) who was jumping around so ferociously during Fetty Wap’s “Trap Queen” that his glasses were thrown from his face. When asked about the toe smushing incident, Rollman said that “‘Oh crap. I’m so sorry,’ were easily the words I used the most [throughout the night].”

This was Rollman’s first Spring Formal, so naturally he had to go his hardest out on the dance floor. Rollman said that overall it was a great night, but “during the great rendition of ‘SICKO MODE,’ the amount of toes and feet that got smashed must have been as numerous as the stars.”

Gabrielle Amorelli (‘20), a victim of the toe smushing, was not amused with the jumping and bumping. When asked how she felt about Rollman’s many offenses, she responded, “How can he live with himself knowing that he has caused the pain of a thousand women?” It seems as though toe smushing is inevitable, Gaby, and it is just the price we must pay for good times and good music.

You may be reaching the end of this article and thinking, “Okay, cool, but what knowledge can I gain from reading this?” Very insightful of you. What have we learned? Well, for starters, now we know that 12% percent of sleepers dream in black and white. We also know that baby carrots are a one billion dollar business. We even know that the most shoplifted item in Europe is cheese. Most importantly, we have learned that SPF no longer stands for “sun protection factor,” “spruce, pine, and fir,” or even the “Singapore Police Force.”

Spread the word, ladies and gentleman, because SPF stands for SPring Formal.