While conversations surrounding biblical sexuality are not unusual topics on campus, Covenant’s chapel department recently announced specific chapels on just that.
Stephanie Formenti and Chaplain Grant Lowe co-leading chapel for the sexual faithfulness talks. Wednesday, September 13th, 2023.
On Monday September 11 and Wednesday September 13, the department held separate chapel talks for men and women about sexual faithfulness. Chaplain Grant Lowe and Stephanie Formenti co-led these talks believing that this subject is essential for students as they seek to love others and love Jesus in community.
“We were bumping into a real need for students to be exposed to ‘What is sex?’ and ‘What are some of the implications of the theology of sex?’” Lowe said.
Formenti sees these chapels as a “moment to hopefully bring some clarity to a conversation that’s been very loud and sort of chaotic.” Amid all the noise about sexuality, she and Lowe believe that the topic of sexual faithfulness could not be more timely or necessary.
News of discussing sexuality in chapel sparked a lot of conversation among students. Leading up to the talks, students were curious about the content and confused about why the discussion was gender segregated.
Lowe acknowledged that sex is not a separate topic for men and a separate topic for women. However, he said the chapel department’s goal was to create the most comfortable environment for students.
Formenti added, “We were trying to eliminate barriers that would prevent people from listening and engaging.”
Conversations about sex are not new to campus. In the past, Covenant has brought various external and internal speakers to address different elements of biblical sexuality in chapel and at other outside events. But Lowe says that this time the talk is different.
“We don’t talk about pornography or masturbation or same-sex attraction—we don’t really spend much time talking about sexual sin. We’re talking much more about God’s good design for sex,” he said.
Formenti began the chapel saying, “God is good, and He does not withhold good things from His kids, ever.”
Throughout the talks, Lowe and Formenti discussed a theology of sex, how this theology shapes our paradigms, and a practical application moving forward. They emphasized sex’s covenantal nature in marriage between one man and one woman, asking students to step into wisdom, faithfulness and love as they seek to obey God’s design.
Isabelle Torokwa sings in the women’s only chapel. Wednesday, September 13th, 2023.
Dr. Elissa Weichbrodt, who attended the women’s chapel, appreciated how the content was “clear, precise and direct” and formed out of real relationships and conversations with other people.
“There was nothing that sounded like purity culture in the conversation. In a number of ways, they were directly addressing some of the harm that purity culture has wrought in evangelicalism,” Weichbrodt said.
After attending the chapels, students had positive things to say overall about the content.
Natalie Mays ‘27 appreciated that the Chapel Department was willing to speak honestly to students about this subject.
“I think it’s a huge encouragement to go to that chapel and talk about it. I feel like it’s often like, ‘Oh, we don’t talk about sex.’ It’s kind of got a connotation around it that’s not entirely positive, especially in Christian culture,” Mays said.
Most students agreed that biblical sexuality is something we need to have more conversations on in the church, and they enjoyed how the topic was portrayed in a positive light.
However, while understanding the desire to create a comfortable environment, students still wondered why men and women were separated. Many argued that if sexual faithfulness really is the same for both genders, then segregation is “pointless,” “ridiculous” and “being treated like a child, not an adult.”
“If it’s the same information, why can’t we all do it together? Part of the reason why it’s so hard to talk about it is because we never talk about it together,” said Annie Rolleston ‘25.
Rolleston also wonders if Formenti could have spoken solely to the women and Lowe to the men. If the talks had to be segregated, Rolleston feels like a woman speaking to women and a man speaking to men would have been more comfortable.
On the other hand, some students enjoyed the separate environment.
Zak Thomas ‘27 appreciated that the chapel department was thinking of students’ comfort levels when discussing such a tough topic, and others saw separation as an opportunity for bonding and accountability with same-gendered students.
“I think it really called for accountability among your own gender by saying, ‘Hey, I see you. We’re accountable. We’re going through this pain and restoration together,’” said Nathanael Stout ‘25.
During the women’s talk, Weichbrodt also noticed how the chapel became a safe space for female students.
“It was really delightful to see all these women gathering for chapel and be so at home in their own bodies … without feeling like they were also being surveilled or objects of someone else’s gaze,” Weichbrodt said.
While there are certainly a variety of opinions across campus, the chapel department and students are hoping to continue this conversation.
“It’s a sweet and true thing that, as a result of this, perhaps the men and the women would love God more and would love each other better,” said Lowe.
Both he and Formenti pray that students walk away with a firm belief in the goodness of God’s design, a more beautiful understanding of sex, and a greater love for one another.