The Hottest Drinks on Campus

If you’re feeling incredibly comfortable with your daily routine and you fear change—great. If complaining about the Great Hall sounds more fun than improving your palate’s experience, I won’t lecture you.

But if you’ve ever heard a voice in your head teasing you with dreams of delicious beverage combinations, you may only need a push in the right direction. Don’t worry, I’m qualified. I’ve spent the last 7 months testing and researching every imaginable liquid recipe offered up by the seedy establishment that calls itself Chartwells. Please enjoy the sweetest fruits of my labor, and remember to drink responsibly.

The Crunchy Creamsicle. Tantalizing, right? Take a standard hexagonal cafeteria cup and fill it with at least ⅓ orange juice. The numbers get tricky here and you’ll have to tinker with ratios to fit your taste, but add a quick dash of Sprite and a few ice cubes. Now, make your way over to the ice cream machine and top off your glass with vanilla.

I am not responsible for the consequences of using chocolate. Grab a spoon and enjoy (the envious looks your friends are giving you)! This one is my absolute favorite because it’s a cinch to make and a pleasure both aesthetically and palatably.

Once you’ve mastered the Crunchy Creamsicle, it’s time to tackle the Faux Frappe. To begin, take a cup and fill it halfway with ice water. Take a second cup and fill it at least halfway with your favorite blend of Great Hall coffee. Now chamber the cup of coffee in the cup of ice water and chat to someone about March Madness while your coffee chills. Wow, a cooling chamber!

I’ve never taken a science class but I imagine you biology guys do fun stuff like this all the time.

When your coffee is room temperature or lower, take your coffee cup and top off with either flavor of ice cream! A dash of milk is optional. Also feel free to add chocolate chips or syrup to taste. If you spend an hour sitting around only to find the ice cream machine is out, I’m so sorry. There’s nothing anyone can do.

The Classic Milkshake. This one is just a regular old milkshake with options for all types of flair. First fill about half your cup with your ice cream flavor of choice, and then add a bit of milk. Personally, nothing beats chocolate ice cream and 2% white milk.

Anyway, you should have at least an inch of cup space specially reserved for fun! You can’t go wrong with oreo bits and flavored sauce, but I recommend Rice Krispies and peanut butter if you’re a real daredevil. Enjoy, and remember to keep experimenting for yourselves. Be zany. Drink waffle batter for all I care.