Pen Advertisement

 photo by David Kraus

photo by David Kraus

Stop. Put down that Pilot G-2 to which you so enduringly cling and heed my words. Gone are your days of using a writing utensil that dries more unexpectedly than a tornado arrives in New York City. Gone are the wasted precious minutes you spend shaking that Pilot viciously in the hopes that ink will flow. Gone is the pitiful age of your lifespan you spent thinking, “Well, it isn’t perfect, but I guess it’s the best pen I’m gonna get.”

         That epoch has been vanquished by the arrival of your savior, the Uni-ball Signo DX 0.38. Before I continue, I must forewarn you: If you so choose to heed my advice and take up this sword of ink displacement, you will desire to never pick up a lesser utensil again.

Any pen that strives to become worthy of an avid writer must dispense its ink smoothly. Every legitimate pen company claims this quality as their own, but what does it mean for a pen to write smoothly? In short, the answer is in the phrase. A quality pen will create a feeling of self-autonomy. The writer should feel that the pen is doing the hard work, rather than his sore and sorry hand. The Uni-ball Signo series fits this description like Cinderella’s glass slipper. These pens are ready to write smoothly from the rip of the paper package they come encased in, and they perform brilliantly, without a single snag, bump, or dry spell.  

Not only must a pen make loving contact to paper, but it should also lie well in the hand. A writer is to his hand as a runner to his feet. No serious cross terrain jogger will place upon his precious trotters a pair of shoes that does not precisely fit their intricate contours. In this fashion must an ardent writer select his weapon. Settling comfortably into the notches of your fingers, the Uni-ball Signo DX will come to act as an extension of your hand, of your arm, of your mind.

         To converse about its grip would be misleading, for one does not grip this pen, but holds it and commands it with physical bliss. Complementing the Uni-ball’s physical comfort, the pen’s easiness deserves an ovation. The tip glides across the page and dispatches equal amounts of ink as it wafts from left to right. The Uniball demands no pressure; it writes as it runs, without need for further downward push.  

As aforementioned, a pen retains a stellar rating only as long as it remains wet. This is a recurring problem with the Pilot Precise and the G-2 series because these pens will stop dispensing ink without warning. In concurrence with Murphy’s law, these ink droughts will always strike when writing the final essay on an exam, taking down notes during an important lecture, or when one is ninety-eight percent finished with a doodle. Utterly unacceptable. I have been using the Uni-ball Signo DX 0.38 daily for two years now; it writes as if unused every time.

These are sixteen dollars for ten pens on Amazon, come encased in a clear shell with a metal head and plastic cap, and perform magic on your page. Even if you don’t consider yourself a master of the trade, you will contemplate joining the writing profession after this pen consumes you. So punch in your card number, fill in your address, and wait for your life to transform.