It’s incredible to think how many months have passed since we got that first email saying Covenant College would be online for a semester because of COVID-19, and how many things have happened since then. The world seems to be spinning out of control, and I think every single one of us has had plenty of those moments of feeling exasperated and disappointed by all the craziness, wondering when or if it will ever end.
Whether thinking about recent news or just the world in general, it’s only natural that deep inside we long to know the answer to the question: Why would God allow this? Often, our answer falls into one of two extremes: either God is sovereign and doesn’t care about suffering, or God is loving and suffering is beyond His control. Both answers leave us frustrated, because each minimizes one aspect of God’s character in order to preserve the other.
I have to stop and wonder if we’re so intent on preserving God’s character that in seeking to explain it, we actually minimize it. In looking back on this past year, I have to wonder if, just as God hardened Pharaoh’s heart and Pharaoh hardened his own heart (Exodus 8:32, 9:12), God is completely in control and people are still completely responsible for their actions. It is in that sort of assurance that, even amid all the craziness, we can find rest knowing that God is in fact both completely in control and cares about us in our suffering.
In my longing for a more satisfying answer to such a weighty question, it’s the story of Lazarus that shocked me the most. Before Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, He saw Mary weeping and, instead of stopping her from crying, Jesus Himself “was deeply moved in… spirit and greatly troubled.” Then, He wept, gut-wrenching, heartfelt weeping (John 11:33-35). He knew He was about to raise Lazarus, and yet He saw Mary’s pain and wept with her. Whatever 2021 may hold, just as God mourned with Mary over Lazarus’s death, He deeply mourns with us in our pain, while still being completely in control.
In Revelation, the saints’ souls under the altar cry, “How long?” God answers them, “Rest a little longer, until the number of [your] brothers should be complete” (Revelation 6:10-11). I like to imagine us in the same way. We know that nothing is outside of God’s control, so we cry, How long? How long until this virus stops wreaking havoc and the world stops being at odds with itself? How long until the pain in this world goes away? Then, His eyes filled with both pain and love, God whispers, Child, I feel your pain. For now, this world will continue to hurt under the Curse because before I return more people have yet to become my children. But when I come back, there will be justice. I’ll wipe away every tear and pain will be no more (Revelation 21:4). In the meantime, stay strong because I’m in control. I love you and I’ll be with you wherever you go.
What peace we have when we know that even as man makes his own decisions, God is still in control, and even as God is sovereign in an evil world, He never ceases to be perfectly loving and to mourn with us in our pain. It could be that 2021 won’t be any better than 2020. Maybe it will be, but either way we know that even if we can’t understand it perfectly, we don’t have to, because God knows, cares, and is sovereign. We trust Him, and that’s enough.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9