When an article from last issue of The Bagpipe reminded us that students have sex on Covenant’s campus, our response couldn’t possibly be contained to one of three narrow definitions. Our emotions ran the gamut, because this is a highly sensitive issue that affects many people. Everyone on this campus experiences sexual struggles to some degree. And so, while the author’s woeful account of our sexual responsibility wasn’t at all accurate, it wasn’t completely baseless either, and this reality should be taken seriously.
In this article we aim to critique the original article, and make two points of our own. But first, we want to put a name to the face of what the original author shared. Extra-marital sex, and other unbiblical sexual activity, falls into the category of sin. This is not a harsh, judgmental or aggressive call-out statement. It’s a sad truth that we all have to bear to varying degrees in our lives. As a result of the Fall, all parts of our lives are touched by brokenness.
This is not to say that if you struggle with sexual sin you need to be ashamed and freak out and lose your mind. You can start by bringing your struggle to Jesus. He’s great! As the author pointed out, we are inherently sexual beings. As the author neglected to mention, our sexuality is broken, and we all need help with that.
And so on to our points: as people who are sinful, guidelines and community accountability are helpful, not harmful. Secondly, we need Jesus even more than we need rules (as we said, he’s great!), and rather than hiding in shame, we can turn to him because he loves us.
Our article will primarily focus on the following quote from “Rules, Sex, and Responsibility:”
“Given that the college cannot logistically prevent sexual activity from occurring, its next priority should be to maintain an edifying and enriching environment on campus in general…the 90° door rule should be removed.”
As we all know, rules alone do little to protect us from the damage of sin; we need something more. As Sam Allberry says in his book “Why Does God Care Who I Sleep With?,” “Trying to reduce the opportunity for sin is no bad thing, but on its own it massively misses the point: the issue is our hearts” (75). We are all sinners. That’s why rules by themselves don’t work—they can’t give us new hearts, and they can’t help us once we fall short.
However, Covenant’s rules do reflect the wisdom of God’s Word and help orient us to all the goodness there is to be found in healthy, Christian community, not to mention the even deeper goodness to be found in walking closely with Jesus. In abiding by the guidelines, we will receive an ever greater awareness of the ways in which life with Jesus is so much better than anything else. We can’t find the best way to live on our own; it’s unbelievably gracious of the Lord to give us guidelines that increase our flourishing and protect us from ourselves.
Where is the wisdom in getting rid of rules just because they’re hard for us to follow? Plus, the 90°door rule isn’t hard to get around if you really want to. In effect, the anonymous author already has what they want. Closed doors are rarely checked on during rounds (RA here, can verify). As always, rule following comes down to the heart.
Secondly, rather than hide our sin, we must run into the arms of our Savior. If sex was the only thing offering us joy and fulfillment, it would be very tempting to do whatever necessary to hang on to it. But good news: we have Jesus! The idea that our campus will be enriched by shoving our sexual misdeeds deeper into darkness is a dangerous lie. We really just have to turn to Jesus. According to him, the best solution is to confess sin, bringing it into the light where it loses the vast majority of its power (unlike Jesus, “republican economics” can’t tell us how to be godly with our sexual expression).
None of this is meant to deny the fact that college students are indeed sexual beings. It’s okay. God intended that. He’s cool with it. He knows. Due to the broken nature of sexuality, we can experience much guilt and shame around this topic, but with a robust theology of sex and sexuality, we don’t need to be afraid of facing this area of our lives. We can learn about it, ask questions, seek wisdom, share our experiences with trusted friends, and use this time of abstaining from sex as a beautiful opportunity to learn what it means to die to self day in and day out.
In summation, the college’s Standards of Conduct are necessary, but they can’t save us from sin. That’s not their purpose anyway. Only Jesus can do that. He is the only one who can provide clarity when we wrestle with these difficult topics. And some day, much sooner than many of us realize, we will be completely free from all manner of temptations and struggles. What a God we belong to!
P.S. Sexual sin often affects more than one person. If someone has sexually sinned against you, please reach out to Becca Moore: becca.moore@covenant.edu. It’s not your fault, and sincere help is available.