The Good, the Bad, and the Petty

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The Good

Lebrrrooooooooooooooooonnnn James. The greatest player on the planet showed the world how good he can be by putting together one of the most impressive single performances on a basketball court in recent memory. On the eighteenth night of November the G.O.A.T. returned to Miami where he had yet to seize a victory since he left the Heat four years ago. That would change very soon. Lebron piled it on against his former team, dropping a whopping 51 points on a very impressive 19-31 shooting clip, while also sinking six three-pointers and one incredible statue of liberty dunk. Josh Richardson, a shooting guard for the Heat, was also ejected from this game for throwing his shoe into the stands, so that’s pretty great. Lebron again and again shows off his transcendent talents on the hardwood, and now, in his 16th season in the NBA, he has yet to show any signs of slowing down. It’s going to be awesome to watch him lose to the Nuggets in the first round this year.

Cardiac Kemba, in a losing effort to the Philadelphia 76ers, was dropping buckets all night. He scored 60 points on 61 percent shooting; the man was certifiably in his BAG. Stepbacks, crossovers, and 12-6 floaters all over Joel Embiid’s head. He had it all that night and it was a shame they couldn’t collect the ‘W’ to really make it a night to remember. Recently acquired 76er Jimmy Buckets Butler blocked potential game-winning layup by Kemba and then proceeded to hit the game winning three over former Florida State Seminole Dwayne Bacon in overtime to really drive the dagger through Kemba’s breaking heart. Operation “Save Kemba” truly began that night. Get that man to Los Angeles.

The Bad

The Cleveland Cavaliers are awful. It’s almost like losing Lebron James in free agency is going to absolutely destroy this team. They rely solely on Jordan Clarkson and rookie Collin Sexton for offense and have no semblance of any defensive identity. They also recently fired their coach, Tyronn Lue, due to their miserable 2-12 start to the season. Lue was replaced by Larry Drew on an interim basis. They tout the 27th worst offense and the 19th worst defense in the league, which really emphasizes how impressive it is that Lebron single handedly dragged this team to the finals last year. JR Smith, the human Hennessy Bottle, even requested a trade. If JR wants out, something is profoundly wrong with the team.

The Wizards are also still terrible, so terrible that the front office has openly been shopping the team’s two stars, John Wall and Bradley Beal, on the trade market. Wall is an all-star caliber point guard with lightning speed and immaculate passing vision. He would be a great fit next to another high quality star (please trade him to the Pelicans—Anthony Davis and John Wall would be amazing). Bradley Beal is a top five shooting guard in the association and would also be great next to another star, or an up-and-coming guy (like Luka Doncic, or on the Raptors if they could somehow flip him for Valanciunas or Ibaka in some sort of package deal).

The Petty

Here we go: Three years ago Kevin Durant, in a shocking free agency decision, joined the Golden State Warriors, who in the prior season had broken the NBA record for wins in a season with 73, shaking the NBA to its core. That partnership might be coming to an end soon, all because of Draymond Green and his eternal petty flame that burns inside his soul. The Warriors had a chance to win the game against the Los Angeles Clippers after Draymond pulled down a defensive rebound with just seconds left on the clock. Instead of passing the ball to all-time great scorer Kevin Durant, Draymond, out of his pettiness, sprinted down the court to try to score without KD. Of course this ended poorly because Draymond should never sprint down the court with the ball with 5 seconds left. That is just not his skillset. However, it is KD’s, and Draymond certainly should have passed him the ball.

Draymond tripped and fell during this sprint down the court, flinging the ball out of bounds as time expired. In a heated argument on the sideline after this incident as the game was heading to overtime, Draymond and KD exchanged pleasantries. Draymond reportedly said this to KD: “We don’t need you b****. We won without you, leave.” This is of course referencing the singular title the Warriors won in 2015 before Kevin Durant came to the team, and also Kevin Durant’s impending free agency in the summer after this season. KD was visually upset and if you can read lips well, as he was walking away from the huddle, you can see him say: “G**D****! That’s why I’m out.” These are tough times in Golden State, but I think I speak for the rest of the NBA when I say this: stay petty Draymond.